I'm back! It's been a while and I've missed you all. So I find it incredibly interesting that my last blog post was titled Exercise vs. Lesli's Lazy Butt. Because well, I fell of the wagon. Big time. There have been spurts of exercise here and there over the past 1 and 1/2 years (OMG! and Yikes!!!) Here's the truth and where I've been, briefly, for the last year-ish. I got back from the cruise, fell off the wagon, went through the holidays, birthday month, lost about 30 lbs, went to Vegas, fell of the wagon again, did a gym challenge, lost 20lbs, broke up with the gym, FELL OFF THE WAGON AGAIN, got super busy with work, another round of holidays, went through a mild depression, birthday month (again) and now we are here. A year and a half later and I am no where near the goals that I set out to accomplish. In fact I've actually gained almost 20lbs at this point. We've all been here. (Well not alll, but a lot of us have been here.) We start out with the best intentions to lose weight and get healthy but the truth is that only something like 29% of people (don't quote me) are successful on their first or even second attempt for serious weight loss. That's one of the reason's why I take issue with the show The Biggest Loser. It gives a lot of people a false sense of hope as to what real work and dedication it takes to achieve your goals. Don't get me wrong. It's absolutely inspiring to see these people success but it's television and I'm sorry to inform you that unfortunately there is no Santa Claus. In real life you don't get to work out for 4-6 hours a day with professional trainers. You don't get nutritionist's and people to cook for you and who constantly tell you what to eat. There is no stress of everyday life, no working a 14 hour day with no time to stop because of a deadline and the only thing to eat comes from a vending machine or food cart in the parking lot. The show is about entertainment people. When you go home from the show there's no one there holding your hand. No one to yell at your fat butt when you slack on the treadmill. No $250,000 prize. So many people get inspired, get motivated and then they get disappointed when they don't see these incredible results so they give up. Like many of you this is also my story. I see all these blogs on Pinterest and the interwebs about THE BEST SUCCESS STORY EVER! And of course we read it because we're looking for that motivation to do the same for ourselves. We get inspired! We're going to do it this time! She was 400lbs and now she's a swimsuit model! I can do this! Then after a week or two or three we (or at least I) lose focus and it's back to square one. Much like an alcoholic or a smoker you can't get clean until your ready. The same is true of a healthy lifestyle and weight loss. I weighed myself last week. I was disappointed and upset and immediately ashamed that I'd let myself get to this point. Sometimes we stumble and sometimes we fall flat on our face. You only fail of you stay down and play dead. I have made the conscious decision to finally get off my tush and reach for those fitness and weight loss goals that deep down I so desperately want to achieve. I don't know what's different this time. I just feel different. Something has clicked and I am resolved to get into shape. So I am here to tell you that I fell. Hard. I let myself down because I gave up on myself. So this morning I picked myself up and dusted myself off. I got up at 6am and went to go see my good friend Jeffrey Patch at JP Athletics in Huntington Beach. He weighed me and took my measurements and I tried hard not to cry although lets be honest, I knew what was coming. Jeff is awesome and he's my real life trainer and motivator and with his help and support I am ready. I am in it for the long haul this time. I just have to remember that Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are my abs.