Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Exercise vs. Lesli's Lazy Butt

Every morning I wake up. For me it's no small feat. I love to sleep. So every morning I wake up, begrudgingly and think I should workout. I think, I really need to get up and get going and get some sort of exercise in. Then I think, I love sleep. I am so cozy. I'll go later. Skipping one day won't hurt me. Then the defense and the prosecution go to trial in my head. And that's been the standard morning practice for a very long time. Only in the past month there's been an addendum added to my morning opening arguments. It's the star witness in my Exercise vs. Lesli's Lazy Butt case. It's this little voice that says, you're tired of being fat. You don't get healthy by laying in bed. You aren't going to lose weight by laying there. If you don't do it now you won't do it. YOU NEED TO GET UP AND JUST DO IT. So maybe the little voice becomes a big voice by the last statement. But for the first time, I've been listening. I have been getting up and going for a walk/run. It's funny because everyday it gets a little better. I spend less time on closing arguments. The verdict more often than not is that the settlement is awarded to exercise.

Something that helps me is setting little goals. I am in a wedding next Sunday and then I am going on a week cruise. I can choose to be careful with what I eat and to work out daily. I know I won't be Kate Moss by the cruise but I can at least put forth my best effort to look as good as I can by then. I do have to have my dress altered down 2 sizes. That's a good feeling. So my extra motivation this week is, you want to look good for the wedding and you want that dress to look as good as possible. When I set really big goals I find myself getting overwhelmed and then I end up failing. So I'm taking a new approach. Small goals. It's a lot easier to think of things in terms of losing 1 pound per week than 75 pounds. So for this week I am going to focus on the cruise and this weeks goal. And I'm going to make sure I get out of bed every morning. :) 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It's Just A Bad Day, Not A Bad Life

My mantra today is "It's just a bad day, not a bad life." Today I feel like a failure. We all have these days. The days where nothing you do is right. Where it seems like one error after another. And just when you think it can't get worse, something else happens. Today feels like one of those days.

Everyone who knows me knows that I am harder on myself than anyone else ever could be. When I let others or especially myself down I take it really hard. The Stripped Challenge results came in and I apparently failed. Yes, I am taking it hard but mostly because I feel like I let myself down. This news came only after I had a list of other things I "failed" at come up. So I guess it's the straw that broke the camel's back. I am the most upset because I really feel like I let myself down. I didn't give 100% to the Stripped Challenge and because of that I didn't succeed. I have no one to blame but myself. I am just really disappointed in myself. The funny thing is I was actually stoked this morning. I did my 2 miles and I shaved 23 seconds off my mile time. I ran longer than I have yet and I wasn't in any pain. This was a positive in my day. I'm not one for pity parties and I try not to stay down for long but today, today I feel overwhelmed. The only thing I can do is take today's let down's and try to harness them into something good. Use it for fuel to do better tomorrow. But for right now, for today, I'm putting on my party hat and having that pity party for one.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Interest vs. Commitment

So tonight we had our final measurements taken for the Stripped Challenge. I lost a total of 5 inches this month. It's no small feat but I feel like I could have done better. I saw this quote today and it kind of hit home:
I feel like I have only been interested when I should be committed. I worked hard this past month but not as hard as I should have. I know that some of the people doing the Stripped challenge have been super motivated and I commend them. John McDonald has been working his butt off and because of that getting the results that he's been after. Miss Emily Porter lost 10 inches on the first Stripped challenge and she was super committed and motivated. I am feeling a bit of a juxtaposition with the results I got. I am proud of myself because I am losing inches and it's finally starting to show. I have definition in my arms which I have never had before. I have core strength which is rad. All of the flub is tightening up. But I know I could have worked harder and tried more. I should have doubled that number. It's hard to feel good when you know you only gave it a 80% effort. I am trying not to beat myself up too much, especially since you can't change the past. I feel totally great about the changes that I am finally starting to see I just wish that I had pushed myself harder for this challenge. I feel like I let myself down a little bit, but c'est la vie. I am hoping that my interest soon becomes a commitment and that I can continue down this path to make change my body into the shape that I know it can be.